Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Talk.

We talk about the little things,
Everything & nothing at all...
But the big things we need to discuss,
Don't get talked about at all.

-Penny Bronzelle
June 20th, 2018

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Fade Away.

I close my eyes
And there you are...
Instantly the tears rush to
Roll down my face.
And I'm torn between two wildly different thoughts all at once.
Do I wish you'd just up & leave my mind...
Or do I wish you'd always stay?
Which thought do I give power to?
The one that keeps you near,
Or sees you fade away?

-Penny Bronzelle
May 31st, 2018

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Flower.

I feel like a flower,
Picked awhile ago...
Way back in my prime,
when my bloom was perceived as perfect,
And not picking me seemed the greater crime.
Though now that I'm aging,
No longer in my prime,
I'm left to wither away in solitude...
I'm ignored until I die.
Only then will I again be dealt with,
And even then it'll only be for the briefest of moments.
Just long enough to get my now decrepit corpse into the trash,
Never to be thought of again.
How sad that this is my life,
and that was my entire life story.
Was I not destined for a greater existence than this?
Picked for my beauty,
only to be ignored in my prime,
and well past it, too...
Discarded like trash,
Ignored through and through.
I used to be a beautiful flower,
Standing tall ready to greet the morning sun...
And now I'm rotting away in a trash can,
Lonely.
Forgotten.
Done.
If only I'd been left alone to fulfill my simple destiny,
Standing tall like flowers do as they eagerly greet the sun,
Then I'd have served my sole purpose,
And when my end came to meet me as well...
I'd have felt like the fortunate one.

-Penny Bronzelle
May 15th, 2018

Monday, May 14, 2018

Come On Strong.

I'm sorry if I come on strong,
It's just that I lead with my heart
In a world that tells me that's wrong.
When did we as a people get so distant?
When did giving out compliments or showing affection become taboo?
Why is it wrong to be loving towards strangers?
Why is it wrong to be loving towards friends?
Why am I treated like a leper for just being kind & welcoming to all of them?
I come on strong.
I lead with my heart.
I have so much love to give.
So I'm sorry if I come on strong, I am...
But if I've got to apologize for having a heart,
You will be sorry for telling me that a world with more love in it
Isn't long overdue.

-Penny Bronzelle
May 14th, 2018

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Raw & Real.

Please forgive me for being raw & bearing my soul...
Being raw & real is the only thing I know.

-Penny Bronzelle
May 13th, 2018

While She Smiles.

While she smiles,
she's got you fooled...
You see not her pain,
her heartache or self doubt.
While she smiles,
you're hers without a doubt.
While she smiles,
you cannot see
Just all of the stuff she hides
willingly.
Her smile is the greatest facade
that you will ever see,
And what do you know?
She is forced to wear it
all because of me.

-Penny Bronzelle
May 13th, 2018

Allergic To Sadness.

If you're allergic to sadness,
you'd better turn & run away
For sadness lingers here today
deep within my soul.
And while I wish that it did not,
I'd be lying if I said it didn't
and that I was whole.
I am the shell of a broken girl,
what you see before you
is merely the shadow of that shell...
She used to be beautiful.
She used to be whole.
She used to be confident...
Oh long ago in a world where we can no longer go.
So now I'm that waif of a human,
More like a ghost flying through the walls
Devoid of any spirit at all.
All this because I'm the leftovers you discarded
After you had your fun,
So if you're allergic to sadness
You'd better run.

-Penny Bronzelle
May 13th, 2018

Stop Dreaming.

I used to love to dream,

and yes, 

I do still do it.
But lately it seems that my dreams have become nightmares, 
Nightmares that chase me down when I awake...
So maybe therein lies the problem,
I struggle to fall asleep and then the moment that I do
I have nightmares that make me wish to forever stop dreaming! 
Madness.
So I'm ready to stop dreaming, 
in hopes of avoiding more nightmares...
But also because my heart can't take anymore dreams that have no hope of ever coming true,
Like that secret dream I have of you. 
You & me where together we...
I have to stop dreaming, 
I need to forget about it once & for all.
I need to move on before I fall.
I need to stop dreaming, 
Quit right here & now,
Before I pray for nightmares to come to me
Instead of you in my dreams at all. 

- Penny Bronzelle 
May 13th, 2018

Laughing In The Dark.

I often find myself falling asleep throughout the day,
But then at night
I'm wide awake.
My brain just refuses to be controlled
And I'm left restless & all alone.
I toss & I turn just hoping I'll be able to sleep,
But it never comes to me...
I am left wanting.
Always.
I am left laughing in the dark
like a crazy person long since gone mad,
Because of how ironic it is that I'm falling asleep throughout the day,
But at night when I want to sleep so much & so bad
I can't.
So I'm laughing like a damn fool in the dark right now,
And I don't care if you know...
I'm laughing in the dark
And I enjoy it so...
All because the laughter found me in the dark
Where sleep won't.

- Penny Bronzelle
May 13th, 2018

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Chasing A Feeling.

I feel lost & I hate it.
I'm chasing a feeling,
A feeling I'll never be able to replicate.
A feeling that flees the second I reach out for it...
I feel like I've got to hold onto
That part of you I'd held,
Even though it was never mine to hold at all.
I need it.
I need you,
Now & forever like the
air that I need to fill my lungs.
I need you,
I don't care what is undone.
I'm chasing a feeling,
Hell bent on having my way,
But you don't seem to see it that way.
I feel like I am due some piece of you,
Like I'm owed something in return for all that I gave.
I feel like I'm owed something...
But here's the sad yet brutal truth of exactly what I am owed.
Nothing.

-Penny Bronzelle
May 13th, 2018